Who taught you to think?


I am always fascinated by people and their reactions and attitudes… you see, in another lifetime I wanted to be a psychological researcher.  I am fascinated by psychology.  Well, that fascination has extended to what I call “wedding psychology”.  I love getting into the minds of brides, grooms, parents, guests, and being one step ahead of them.  It’s fun!

But recently I’ve been fascinated with people’s reactions to same sex weddings.  How passionate people’s reactions are to both sides: for and against.  It amazes me, especially, how passionate people are and how vocal people have become against same sex marriage.

This blog post was inspired by a Facebook post where a friend of mine posted a beautiful photo from a wedding she officiated.  It happened to be two women who got married.  There were two nasty comments that were immediately deleted.  But that got me thinking…

Last week, I received a lovely thank you note from one of our couples.

And I left it on the kitchen table so my husband could read it as well.  Our 7 year old daughter read and and asked if this was one of our couples.  I replied yes, to which she answered: “is it two girls?”.  I said yes.  Puzzled, she asked how two girls can get married – I replied that anyone who loves each other enough to spend their lives together can get married.  She started giggling.  I asked her what was funny and she said it’s not right and sounds silly.  I reminded her that things aren’t the same in every family as they are in ours, and it doesn’t make it wrong and she should respect other people’s lives.  Still puzzled, I can see the wheels turning….so I reminded her of a friend of hers – this friend’s parents are divorced and her mother has a live-in girlfriend that her friend calls Mom.  I drew the parallel of that family so she could have a real example and she got it.  She said “OOOOOOHHH!  I get it now”  and that was it.  A 7 year old got it…. hmmm…

And then on the sillier side, I forgot to make sure our 5 year old understood as well.  Later that night, our air conditioning was being repaired and I asked Evanthea where Daddy was…she told me he was “outside marrying Bob”!  I had to LOL!  She said “what?  You said girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys!”  So I explained that people can only get married once – she got me there and brought it back to Alexandra’s friend…then we had to discuss divorce.  I found it amazing that divorce was a tougher concept for my kids to understand than same sex marriage – how many divorce haters are posting nasty comments on Facebook?  Makes you wonder…

Dave and I teach our kids to think for themselves, but we try to get them to understand all of the facts before they reach their own conclusion.  I think it’s pretty awesome that my kids can appreciate people for their differences, whatever they may be…can you?


2 thoughts on “Who taught you to think?

  1. What a great post! I obviously don’t have kids (yet) but I like your approach–explaining that anyone who loves each other can get married, and then drawing a real-life parallel for her. I am thrilled that CT has joined those states allowing same-sex marriage and I hope that I can instill the values of acceptance and understanding in my kids in the future. 🙂

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